Happy Ninja-Mas

This is the story of Ninja Claus and his Christmas Musk-Oxen of Doom.

This story originated when Amber and I were riding around looking at Christmas lights one night several years ago. We came across a display that featured a collection of musk-oxen, but no Santa. Amber asked why some one would have musk oxen up instead of reindeer. It was then I let her in on the long lost legend of Ninja Claus and his Christmas Musk Oxen of Doom.

We all know that Santa lives at the North Pole, has flying reindeer, and makes a list of who's naughty and nice. We also know that St. Nick takes presents to all the nice little girls and boys, and give a lump of coal to the naughty children. What they don't tell you, is that Ninja Claus follows after Santa and beats the holy snot out of the naughty children with his ninja-y awesomeness.

This arrangement came about several hundred years ago. We all know that Nicolas Claus went around Germany giving out presents in his mortal life. What you didn't know was that he used to have weekly shakedowns from the German Mob. During the final visit from the ruffians, they happened to accost young Nicolas when he was being visited by his brother Freidrich. Freidrich had just returned from spending fifteen years traveling abroad to master the ancient fighting arts of Asia. Let's just say when they were handing out bodyguard assignments for saints, everyone wanted Freidrich.

Now, with his trusty ninja sleigh, pulled by Musk Oxen trained and raised in Siberia, Ninja Claus visits sweet Christmasy doom upon the doomed heads of the filthy human worm babies.