Happy Ninja-Mas

This is the story of Ninja Claus and his Christmas Musk-Oxen of Doom.

This story originated when Amber and I were riding around looking at Christmas lights one night several years ago. We came across a display that featured a collection of musk-oxen, but no Santa. Amber asked why some one would have musk oxen up instead of reindeer. It was then I let her in on the long lost legend of Ninja Claus and his Christmas Musk Oxen of Doom.

We all know that Santa lives at the North Pole, has flying reindeer, and makes a list of who's naughty and nice. We also know that St. Nick takes presents to all the nice little girls and boys, and give a lump of coal to the naughty children. What they don't tell you, is that Ninja Claus follows after Santa and beats the holy snot out of the naughty children with his ninja-y awesomeness.

This arrangement came about several hundred years ago. We all know that Nicolas Claus went around Germany giving out presents in his mortal life. What you didn't know was that he used to have weekly shakedowns from the German Mob. During the final visit from the ruffians, they happened to accost young Nicolas when he was being visited by his brother Freidrich. Freidrich had just returned from spending fifteen years traveling abroad to master the ancient fighting arts of Asia. Let's just say when they were handing out bodyguard assignments for saints, everyone wanted Freidrich.

Now, with his trusty ninja sleigh, pulled by Musk Oxen trained and raised in Siberia, Ninja Claus visits sweet Christmasy doom upon the doomed heads of the filthy human worm babies.

God is my darkness

Isaiah 50:10
Let those who dwell in the dark
and have no Light
Trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on their God.


I lay awake tonight embracing dark thoughts.

I have been worn out for more than a week, and I came home kinda crazy tonight. That generally leads to some biting and cackling (see Terry Prachett's Wee Free Men, and Granny Aching series.) Afterwards, it leads to the brooding. So that's were this post began.

I am angry with the world.

My heart has been broken everyday for fifteen years by parents who are too broken, too lost, and too self-centered to embrace me and love me and be there for me.

I am angry at a society that forces us to either lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead or be crushed.

I know, right now, I could bring in thousands of dollars a month by setting up and maintaining web servers that distribute pornography. Even in this recession, it is a booming international business. I won't do it, because it is horrid and revolting. But it pisses me off that I can't find a way to make the same kind of money without victimizing a whole slew of people. And it ticks me off that I won't be rewarded in this life for doing the right thing.

I am angry that I have to allow myself to be mistreated by a company that embodies so much of what is wrong in this world. They use Indians and Filipinos as virtual slave labor, and then hang this over our heads to threaten us if we don't make enough money for them. I can't afford to quit. I can't afford to get fired by voicing my opinions. I'm afraid I will be fired because I suck at selling crappy products to people, and I don't like lying for money. I am pissed at myself for not having the moral fortitude to voice my opinions because of necessity.

I am angry that I am so stressed out that I can't rest properly, which is driving me insane (literally, ask Amber.)

I am angry that I have been praying about all of these things and a whole host of other things for a very long time with no resolution, and no hint of help from God.

I am angry because I have so many doubts about what God wants and who God really is, when I think I shouldn't. I am looking at how difficult my life has been, and how much I have had to struggle just to survive; and I wonder why. Why have I had to wrestle with demons and darkness? Why have I had to struggle financially my whole life? Why does something go horribly wrong every time I am about to get ahead? Why have I had to suffer with so many injuries and so much pain for so long? Why has life been so difficult when I know God could step in and magic everything better? Is it because He can't or won't? If He can't, what is more powerful than God? If He won't, what's up with the sadism?

I remember a conversation I had with Georgia years ago. She told me that God told her to tell me I had to learn to submit to His will. (This was after dislocating my hip fighting with Scott. I spent a few days asking God to fix it, but He wouldn't.) I hadn't realized that I wasn't submitted, mostly because I am an arrogant bastard. (I still think the world should be the way I envision it, but I am learning to accept what is given.) I repented and God fixed the hip the next day.

So then I'm thinking, why such an emphasis on submission? Why do we have to embrace so much suffering and accept it as God's will? Why does He want to hurt us? (Then again, why isn't He torturing us more. I know I deserve it some days; usually on days ending in "y".)

I am laying awake, trying not to think angry thoughts at God, while trying to stop thinking angry thoughts about the world in general and about God in specific (it's a whole thing, but He gets it) when I realized I don't have to.

I am not a person who can walk in the light. I've hurt too much for too many years, even though I know there are many people who have suffered far worse for longer. (I'd have flipped out and had my killing spree/death if I were some of them.) I am, by nature, the opposite of my wife. She is a happy, joyful, carefree person. She helps people out of a love that is full of light and something just "good" that I can't really describe. (She will deny this, of course, because she is really hard on herself and won't listen to be me about how awesome she is.)

I am somber, moody, and mad at the world. I help people because I know what it's like to need someone and not have anyone there. I also know what it's like to have someone step in and help after a long time (thanks sweets, you are my super hero.) My love, or compassion, comes from understanding what it means to hurt. It's also because I want the pain to mean something, which is kind of selfish. (I'm not sure if this disqualifies it from being compassion or not.)

Anyway, when I accepted this and stopped fighting hurting over how messed up the world is, I was able to see God and feel Him holding me.

I am right to be angry at the world. I am right to feel stressed out, hurt, sad, bitter, and kind of ignored by God. And what's more, God feels the same way. (This is not to say that God does not also feel happiness and joy. He does, and that is a part of Him that Amber relates to, and that I don't. We get to see two different aspects of God's nature there. (I have a really cool theory about humanity and expressions of God's nature, but that's another post. Suffice it to say it doesn't involve a net.)

My parents are lost to me, and that kills me. They are also (as far as I can tell) lost to God (at least right now.) That's killing Him too. They are His children, after all. What's more, He has a list, billions of names long, of children damned to Hell forever. That is grief and suffering I can't fathom. There have been days when I could barely function dealing with grief over my parents, and I'm only responsible for two lives (mine and Amber's, and I'm not really responsible for hers.) Mine is a wound that is fifteen years old. God's wounds are much older, and much deeper; and yet we expect Him to run the world with "love" and kindness. We are insane. And yet He does it. Yes, there is suffering, but we all know that He also brings hope and comfort and relief.

There is oppression in the world. Much of it is far darker than just forcing people to work long hours answering people's questions about computers. Much of it is far darker than the financial slavery we call debt. These things are just the feathers on the camel's back, though greed lies at the heart of all of it. God has some very dark plans for the slave masters, very dark indeed. We forget, God invented everything, including; Pain, Suffering, Hell, and Damnation. He knows what justice is, and He knows what vengeance is, and He's very good at them both. This too is a grief for Him since, again, He is losing children forever.

God also knows what it is to submit to a transcendent Deity who subjects you to suffering. Jesus had to submit to the Father as well (and God wasn't very nice to Himself.) I have wrestled with demons. Jesus wrestled with Satan. I have resisted temptations to hurt people who are stupid, or insensitive, or just have bad timing when dealing with me. Jesus could destroy worlds and damn everyone to Hell, and people wouldn't give him ten minutes to pray, let alone time to sleep. I have read His railings against the Church of His day. It is not pretty. (See Matthew 23 for a sample.) I have had to learn to accept my pain (both the dislocated hip and the back pain, and I still suck at accepting suffering.) Jesus had to submit to the humiliation and torture of crucifixion. He's not stupid. He wasn't looking forward to suffering and dying. Especially not when His friends were just getting it, and just beginning to understand Him. But He did it. I'm afraid to ask whether or not I would have passed that test. At twenty, no problem. At twenty-nine, probably not. I know what pain is, and I don't like it.

All of that to say this:

I don't have to be afraid of my dark thoughts. I don't have to resist being angry, or tired, or cranky. I do have to watch my tongue, but being worn out is not a sin. Being heart broken and numb from grief is not a sin. Not knowing how to pray is not a sin.

I don't have to be afraid of the dark because God is here with me. He has walked these steps, He has been weary, and He knows my pain; and He is strong enough to keep opening His heart.

I don't have to be afraid that I am not strong enough to keep believing in Good, and Hope, and Love. All of these things can be found in the dark as well. Love encompasses both joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain. Hope doesn't mean I can't accept that things are bad, and unjust, and messed up. Good doesn't mean happy all the time, it means getting angry as well. (Just watch Amber when someone messes with kids and you'll see what I mean. Jack Bauer would wet himself in fear.) It just means we have to think before we act.

It's relieving to know that God will meet me where I am at; even if it is in the dark while I am thinking mean things about Him. It is good to know that He understands and accepts doubt and anger towards Him (but has limits on disrespect and a good right hook.) It is good to know that he has walked in these places and will carry me home.

It's also good to have a wife who understands the power of a good cuddle. Better than cheek full of thorazine any day.

God's role in my car's breakdown

I would like to start by saying thanks to God. Thanks God.

Here's why:

As you know, my car broke down due to a bad fuel pump. This cost roughly $640 to repair. For me, this is a lot of money. Fortunately I had the money and enough to pay off school tuition at the same time. This is blessing #1.

Second, I am most grateful for the timing. The car broke down on Sunday after church. (It was a very good sermon from Dr. Marshall about the importance of daily devotions, habits, and grace. Very apropos to my life right now.) This was excellent timing. Amber and I had several hours before I had to be at work in order to deal with the situation. Additionally, I am very grateful that it went out on Sunday rather than Saturday.

Saturday morning I drove to Ozark for taekwondo. I tend to drive in excess of the speed limit. I'm not entirely sure what would have happened if it had on out on the way to or from Ozark, but I'm certain it wouldn't have been good. (Can you say 20 car pile up.) So that's blessing #2. It didn't happen on the highway.

Blessing #3 I am most thankful for. Amber went out Saturday night to various parties for co-workers for quasi-political reasons. I didn't go with her because I was at home working on my termpaper. She made it home safely, albeit late at night, and I am really grateful for this. It's a guy thing. I know Amber is good in a crisis and is generally levelheaded; but man-law dictates that a guy protect his girl. Not being there means if something bad had happened I couldn't have done that. Thusly I am thankful that God was riding with Amber and was following Bro Code #282, "Don't let anything happen to your Bro's babe if he's not around to watch out for her." So, again, thanks God.

Blessing #4 is minor in comparison to #'s 1 through 3, but I feel it is worth mentioning. I was able to go out with Amber, have a nice dinner, and watch a movie that made her jump every two minutes (which was very entertaining for me.) If the car had broken down on Thursday or Friday we would not have gone out. I'm thankful that it waited, because we had a nice time out and I think we needed that. I may be reading more into that is there, but I don't think so. So, again, thanks God.

Blessing #5 ties into blessing #1. I was able to purchase the router that I needed to finish my termpaper. It was rather expensive by itself. So I was able to pay off school for the semester, fix the car, go out with Amber, and buy my router, all on one pay check.

Finally, I am thankful for my awesome friends. Joey gave me a ride to work on Sunday, Hillary gave me a ride to a job interview on Friday, and Hanna and Chris loaned Amber their Intrepid for a few days. (This is despite the fact that the last time Amber and I were alone in the car we wrecked it. (The car has a nice hood, by the way.)) Lindsay volunteered to give rides as necessary, which was awesome. I'm not sure who else Amber asked for help, but I know any and all of you guys would have come running if asked. I know this because you've all been there for us at one time or another over the last ten years. I am really grateful for your love and friendship, and I really do thank God for you from the bottom of my heart.

I love you guys, and thanks.

A Busy Semester

This has been a very busy semester for me, hence the abundant lack of posts. I do, however, feel that much of that time was well spent. I have learned quite a bit (most of it self-taught too.)

I have setup an interim website for Bryan, over at weeping-prophetic.com. I taught myself much of the xhtml and css necessary to do it, but I did receive help from the Omega Brethren, for which I am grateful.

I taught myself how to configure and secure a webserver. I have one up and running now, though it is currently blocked off because I need to tweak the firewall some more.

I have, with help from Joel, learned basic C# programming. This is supposed to be a class, but we meet once a week, and it's mostly a do it yourself course. I found that C# for dummies was a better book than the text book too.

I have a new appreciation for the dummies books. They were very useful in learning introductory skills. There is also a company called O'Reilly's that publishes awesome books for anything computer related.

I am nearing the end of the semester. My paper is done (though I think it sucks), and finals are in a few weeks. I have quite a bit of reading to catch up on, so there won't be any deep posts for a while yet.

I have thought of a few topics. In the coming weeks, look for posts on Sabbath in 21st Century America, A comparison between God and superman, and other random things.

Cure for the blues.

In Gospel of Luke and Matthew, Jesus tells the parable of the Talents. It's the one about the rich man who leaves his servants in charge while he goes away to conduct business. When he comes back two of his servants have made a lot of money while the other one stuck his head in the sand.

We are all complaining about feeling restless, and are probably in similar places with the church and maybe with God, where we feel like He's off doing something else and we are on the back burner. (At least I feel that way.) I think at times like this, that parable is not just a story, it's a reality. God is off conducting business and has left us the run of the house. The question is, what are we going to do with the Talents he's left us. Hence, the restlessness. I think it's a subtle stirring of the Spirit to make us go do something.
Here's what I propose:

1.)Actively pursue ministry rather than seeking to fit in to a church group to feed us spiritually. We are all leaders. None of us really belong on a pew.

2.) Pursue something that is beneficial to us directly that also serves God. For instance, many of us have been dealing with Chronic pain. A support group that offers prayer, testimony, and maybe some healing and nutrition to help manage pain and the accompanying depression.

3.) Remember to rest and pant after God. This is the whole, "Sabbath" thing. We are all way too busy and not well rested. Cut back on some activities and make time and room for God. (This is probably more for me than anyone else though.)

4.) The final part is a bit self-serving, because I miss my friends and miss praying and serving God with my friends, but: Pursue these opportunities together. I blogged about our group of friends being our church community a while ago. Perhaps this is a chance for our little cell to "worship, serve, and go" together (to quote pastor.)

A View From Distant Shores.

I wrote an Email to my friend Azzy, but I felt the need to share part of it with the world. Here it is.

Amber went home for two weeks and I essentially became a monk for that time. I stayed off of the computer for pretty much the entire two weeks and spent most of my free time getting reacquainted with God. I have not prayed nor read my Bible consistently since I was in college. I've felt the need to start again.

It was a good two weeks, but I was surprised to see how much I've changed in terms of relating to God. I'm far more aware of how inadequate and frail I am. As a result I think I'm a bit more humble and hopefully more malleable. I also find that while I may still disagree with some things that God has done and may be doing in my life, I am far more willing to obey. Some days I am confident I will be okay. Other days I'm sure I should be on an express elevator to hell. As I've said, I have struggled with some of my own inner darkness for years. I've come to accept it as a part of me, and largely find positive outlets for it; but it's still darkness. I think that's okay though.

Re-reading the Bible, I can see some of God's darker nature as well. Not evil, just aggressive and ruthless. He knows what He wants, He knows that some people will have to suffer in order for Him to get it. He proceeds anyway. What He does do, that I respect greatly, is take responsibility for it. I see the cross as just that, now. God makes salvation easy just for that reason. (All we have to do is believe in Christ and do our best; there is no mandate for obtaining perfection or enlightenment, just doing our best and not quitting.) He also came down here and suffered both with us and for us. In the case of Christ that is readily evident. In the case of the Holy Spirit, the suffering is less evident; but I believe it is there.

To put this in context I think I need to share how I kind of view the world now. A few years ago I came to the conclusion that God is trying to create a perfect world. In my view, the only way to accomplish this is to fill a world with loving and relatively unselfish people. God tried twice creating worlds with perfect conditions. The first time a full third of the population rebelled and started a civil war that rages to this day. The second time, 100% of the population rebelled, and there was only one rule: "Don't eat from this one tree."

I think that's why God's biggest commandments are to love Him, and to love each other as we love ourselves. If you love Him, you respect Him and His wishes. This includes following His rules, most of which (especially in regards to carnal rules) are just medically and psychologically sound advice anyway. If you love yourself, you respect yourself and take care of yourself. (I think this is where most of us fall short. We don't respect ourselves. We tend to indulge in things that we would protect our children or others from, whether its some minor carnal delight or worse; harmful attitudes. I tended towards self-pity in college and in the intervening years. It took a few years of working with troubled kids and realizing I was maintaining many of the attitudes that these juvenile delinquents were harboring. I was also starting to see where those attitudes would lead. I think that began my road to repentance.) If we love others, we respect them and treat them well.

If you can populate a world with people who are willing to follow guidelines for healthy physical, emotional, and social living, who respect themselves, discipline themselves, and are able to admit to their mistakes, and who respect and care for others; it doesn't matter what the conditions are. That world will eventually become a utopia because of the people in it. The trick is finding those people. I think that is the purpose of this life. We choose whether or not we will be one of those people.

I do need to say that I don't envision utopia as a place that is filled with people who are happy and singing all the time. (I would have to kill them all, especially if they are singing before noon while I am trying to sleep.) I envision it as a world filled with people who really do care about each other, and do their best to look out for each other. We each give a little and get a little. We all sacrifice for the greater good. (This means I keep a lot of what I think and feel to myself, and I do what I know is right or good or kind even if I don't feel like it. In return people do what is right and good and kind for me. It means I try to want for people instead of wanting from people. To me that is huge and difficult. I try to balance it with a philosophy I learned from Chris called intelligent self-interest. I do nice things for others because I will want them to be pre-disposed to do nice things for me. I also obey God because He is bigger than me and everybody else.)

Anyway, I base a lot of this on God outright stating that this world is a process of sorting the wheat from the chaff, the lambs from the goats. He makes lambhood easy; care for others and hang in there. (It's the hanging in there part that is difficult, especially when you've had to struggle for a few years. That's where the poem So this is Faith came from. It's on my myspace. I don't know if you've read it.)

Of course I may be entirely off base with this.

How many 5 year olds could you take in a fight.

My friend Ouph posted this on her blog, and my wife directed me to it.  I can take twice as many five year-olds as they can.

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The American Church

I was recently riding around Springfield with my wife and noticed new construction on a mega-church on the North end of town. I'm not sure what the church is called, or what denomination it belongs to, but it is a large and impressive building. I'm certain that it runs somewhere in the $5-$10 million range.

I don't recall quite how, but this led to a discussion about why the Church in America is failing.

A part of it is popular image. We are seen as a bunch of rabid and unthinking protesters who are opposed to progress. In some instances this is true. (It was kind of stupid to buy thousands of copies of Harry Potter books just to burn them. Not only did this boost Rowlings book sales and media attention, it put us in the same category of other great book burners, such as (just a name at random here) Hitler and his Nazis. That really helped the popular image of Christianity.

The other, more serious reason, is that we fail to perform everyday ministry. The way I see it, the Church is kind of missing some obvious opportunities to reach out and help. For instance, in the city of Springfield, there is one minister who seems to focus his attention on helping the homeless. His efforts are largely opposed by the city because he hasn't been able to provide adequate security in the facilities he's trying to open, which has raised concerns about the safety of school children in the surrounding neighborhoods. Providing round the clock security costs money. I can't help but wonder what this man could accomplish with an influx of $5-$10 million dollars and some sound financial advising. And I can't help but ask if Springfield really needs another church, let alone another mega-church.

Another example that comes to mind are Springfield's various food pantries. There have been at least half a dozen news stories about how many of these pantries are running out of food and supplies. Again, what could they do with $5-$10 million dollars. Honestly, $500,000 dollars would be more than enough for quite a while for many of them.

Then there is the current fuel crisis. The cost of fuel is driving up the cost of living, as we all know. This is making things extremely difficult, if not impossible, for a lot of the nation's low income families. This makes people desperate. Desperate people do desperate things. As such, it's really no wonder that there has been a dramatic increase in violent crime in Springfield. I'm not a social engineer, but I can't help but wonder what sort of relief could be provided with $5-$10 million dollars and a good financial plan to make it last.

I know there are some pretty obvious counter arguments to what I'm saying, based on economics and politics. I know that Christians are the ones to show up in any real numbers to help out at disasters. We are generally very giving and helpful people. It's a part of the nature of Christ in us. I'm just saying we are missing some obvious needs, and some obvious opportunities on the home front.

I think the Church in America has had the wrong focus for quite a while. We've been trying to fight the dragon in Washington, while ignoring the snakes in the cradle at home. Among the middle class, the American church is emptying out. Kids are growing up in church without developing a relationship with Christ, and then are leaving the church as adults.

Bethany provided a great example as to why, as well. If a youth pastor is handing out Jell-O shots to a group of kids (college age or not) as a part of a church function, I can't say I'm surprised these kids don't really know Christ.

I know this is just one example, and it's probably extreme; but I think it's indicative of what's wrong in the Church. We don't treat God as Holy anymore, and we don't view the things of God as sacred anymore. I'm guilty of this as well.

I know God walks and lives with us in the everyday world. (I got dirty looks from Charity last night for saying God plays Halo, but that's okay.) Many of my favorite experiences with God haven't happened anywhere near a church. The only place I've shared the gospel with anyone in the last ten years has been at work. I'm not sure how effective I was, but I did share the gospel with nearly every kid I worked with, until my last year at LRH. Then I spent quite a bit of time just fellowshipping with and praying for my co-workers (and doing a lot of acupressure, which is also sharing the love of God.) For most of my time at LRH, I wasn't able to attend church regularly, and our weekly prayer/Halo parties was the only Christian fellowship I got (thusly, God plays Halo, or at least comes to Halo parties.) As such I've become rather comfortable with God in the everyday, and I probably don't fear/revere Him as much as I should. In fact, I skipped church this morning because I woke up late and didn't have clean clothes. Ten years ago I would have stayed up all night to finish my laundry and wouldn't have considered skipping church despite being exhausted (though Hanna, Becca, and Amber all wished I would have. Sorry for being such a bear, and thank you for being such good friends.)


All of that to say this: I need to take advantage of the everyday opportunities to serve God and minister to those around me, and I need to fear God a little more. (He is bigger than me, after all.)

Forbidden

I was trying to post on the Omegabrethren website, but I kept getting a "forbidden" error message. Apparently I am not allowed to post over there any more. So sad.

Finally Getting my 360.

I am finally getting my xbox 360. Several people have asked me to post a list of games that I want, so here goes:

Obviously the top 3 are:
Halo 3
Elder Scrolls of Oblivion 4 Game of the Year Edition
Mass Effect

The some of the rest, off the top of my head, and in no particular order:

Assassin's Creed (Got it)
Star Wars the Force Unleashed (not out yet)
Lego Star Wars, the complete saga
Perfect Dark Zero (Got it)
Dead Rising
Marvel Ultimate Alliance
Soul Caliber
Burnout (I forget which on they are on)
Viva Pinata (Got it)
Half Life 2: The Orange Box (for the cake.)
Tenchu Z
Ninja Gaiden 2 (not available yet.)

The Lion of Judah

I've been giving some thought to the nature of God recently.  It has a lot to do with how I relate to God, and how He relates to me.  This comes from recent struggles with various aspects of my own dark nature; be it my own sinfulness, my cynical outlook, or my rather violent proclivities.  I realize, that to a large extent, I am an animal.  Granted, I've been house broken, but I am an animal.  The same can be said for many people, but men in particular.  

We have violent or aggressive natures.  We are capable of great savagery, and some of our base instincts towards interpersonal conflict resolution involve blood letting.  Or maybe that's just me.  We establish ourselves by playing various versions of "I'm bigger than you", whether it's through physical displays, economic displays, psychological intimidation, or even in the games we play.  All of these are very beastial behaviours, some just have more "civilized" polish to them.

As I thought about these things, I also thought about some of the ways in which God described Himself.  I think He very deliberately called Himself the "Lion" of Judah.  The Lion is revered as the king of beasts.  An alpha lion establishes dominance over it's pride by playing a very brutal game of "I'm bigger than you", and then subjugates or banishes any would be contenders.  When Job brought charges against God, He replied with several chapters worth of "I'm bigger than you."  The Word very specifically declares God's sovereignty over all; not just by right but by power.  Even the Adversary admits that God gave him his authority when he tempted Jesus.  He didn't boast that he stole or took anything.  He said God gave it to him.  That clearly indicates that God also limits his and everyone else's authority.  (This also implies that things are running the way God intended for them to, but that's another blog.)

For me, what this boils down to is that God understands my darker nature, my beastial self.  What's more, He not only understands it, but He can easily subjugate it.  He's also not afraid to get his paws bloody in order to do it.  This is of great comfort to me in the midst of some of my struggles.

I must also give praise that I am currently less tempted towards, shall we say "helping various medical professionals take much needed vacations to unknown tropcial locations via the Bermuda Triangle" now that I am no longer in "purgatory."

Until later, I leave with my favorite poem by John Donne

Holy Sonnet XIV: Batter My Heart

Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy:
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

First Blog

This is merely a sample blog. My thoughts, feelings, insights, rants, raves, and etc. are yet to come.